Touch With Caution: Angels in Action A Reader’s Chapter Reflection

Touch with Caution: Angels in Action (Chapter reflection by Grant Jape)

     As I read this chapter, I couldn’t help but think about what Andy has gone through in his

life. There must have been something in his past experiences that required the attention of a

female in order for him to cope with life. Perhaps, he has never felt that motherly love before,

which can explain the monstrous outrage he committed. However, he also seemed like a boy

that understood his strength. He knew his situation, especially when he saw that he was short

of his allowance due to his bad behavior. He took advantage of this opportunity to intimidate

and express his feelings, knowing there was nothing you can do.

     I feel for children of this manner. A process in their upbringing made them who they are,

and it is not entirely their fault. However, one must always take responsibility for their actions

and that is something that can be explained, but it is a trait that requires self-discipline

and understanding on one’s own heart.

     These types of stories only want to make me love my siblings and future children even

more. I want to cherish them and make sure they are raised with respect and understanding. I

want them to feel sadness and anger, but more importantly I want them to know the tools in

how to fight against such feelings. It shapes them and helps them create an identity.

I would love to hear your reaction!

Diane

Parenting On My Back

wheelchair

(Image Credit:http://grovegals.blogspot.ca/2012_04_01_archive.html)

Parenting on my back was fueled in the parent-child relationship. In my life, the roles were reversed: my children became caregivers to me.

This unwelcome crisis was unexpectedly thrust into my existence in the prime of my life, when I was 37 years young, and the girls were 7 and 11 years of age. Rheumatoid arthritis stole my mobility and attacked my joints, leaving me motionless. I found myself using a wheelchair and having to rely on those “little hands” for such things as food, grooming, bathing, dressing, cooking and cleaning.

My challenge was to establish that even though the roles may have changed, the rules did not. I was still their mother. As they grew older, their need for independence also grew, and this became more and more difficult.

This experience taught me the importance of being open with my children and giving them a voice. With them, I was an open book when it came to such things as our finances and our family situation. In turn, I was also willing to listen and walk with them through their life journeys. I provided them a safe space where they could air their grievances about school, their social lives, anything.

Giving them a voice helped tremendously. I wanted them to feel that they weren’t my servants, but that even while I was parenting on my back, they were my little human beings that I loved and respected.

Join me as I continue to reveal the lessons I learned from parenting on my back in the weeks ahead. I would love to hear your comments and insights as I expand on this subject.

Forgiveness Defeats Hate

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”–Mahatma Gandhi

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My husband was chronically allergic to responsibility, coming into our lives when we were thriving, then abandoning us when we needed him the most. I wanted desperately to believe he could change, and so did my girls, but after a while, we accepted the fact that he would always be allergic to responsibility and that was who he was.

I still remember the time when my daughter, Jasmine, searched the house and looked out the window in vain for a sign of her daddy or his car. All she found was empty space, in the house and inside his car, parked in the carport—her dad was gone.

A while later, he stepped into our house, eager to reconcile, again. I knew little of the hidden fury Jazzy was harboring for her father. She was angry at him for abandoning us, for leaving her young hands to carry the burden of adulthood, and for never considering how it might make his children feel when he left.

Before I knew it, she was charging at him with a knife, chanting “I hate you! I hate you!”

Thankfully, no one was hurt, but I was greatly disturbed at what I had seen. I spoke to Jazzy gently about what happened.

“Jazzy, do you really hate your father?” I asked.

“I’m going to hate him until he decides to make amends to me,” she answered.

I confessed to her that I couldn’t say I knew exactly how she felt, but I did know this: Hate is the emotion that taints the spirit, destroys the body and robs the mind; all your power lands in the hands of the person you hate.

I told Jazzy that hate was like a boomerang. You think you’re throwing it at a person, but it comes right back and hits you instead. It makes you destroy yourself from the inside out. It steals your joy and it never benefits you.

I concluded my story, telling Jazzy, “Forgiveness is the key to alleviate hate and the key to you producing a life of abundance.”

Hate is a strong emotion, but forgiveness is stronger—forgiveness defeats hate.