I Can Do All Things

Not only did rheumatoid arthritis affect me mentally and physically, but it also changed the way I saw myself. I went from seeing myself as an outgoing, productive, positive-thinking young woman to feeling like a vulnerable, hopeless, powerless burden to everyone. “Why am I still existing?” I puzzled.

I even prayed that God would take me home, not just for my own sake, but also for my family’s. A body in pain that couldn’t move was surely better suited for the painlessness and eternal bliss of Heaven than for being a mother that couldn’t do what other mothers could.

I couldn’t bear the emotional burden I placed on my girls. They had to sit and watch as their mother’s body deteriorated before their eyes. They also had to help their mother with the necessities many of us take for granted: food, water, and clothing.

And then, I considered the fact that I had looked to other members of my family for help, and I didn’t find it there. I thought to myself, “If I can’t even get help from my own family, what would happen to the girls if I disappeared?”

That thought was what gave me the will to go on. These girls needed a mother. That was my reason for existing. I wasn’t going to let anything stop me.

There was a Bible verse I had memorized a long time ago, yet only seemed to come alive at that time. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). After I started acknowledging that my help came from God, my attitude changed. I no longer felt like a vulnerable, hopeless, powerless burden to everyone. If God wanted me to be there for my girls, I was going to be there.

No matter how my body looked, I was determined to believe God’s promises and to receive his abundant joy, the joy that comes from within. Whether or not my body moved was irrelevant. The joy was still there.

God put us in this situation for a reason: so we could rise above it. This is how God taught me to live fearlessly. There’s a difference between being alive and living. Are you investing time in the people you care about? Are you living each moment to the fullest? Are you pursuing those experiences that will allow you to better yourself and others?

Remind yourself: if “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” my only option is to live life fearlessly.

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One thought on “I Can Do All Things

  1. I am glad you found your strength in your situation. Life is full of difficult situations obstacles pain and suffering. It is what you do during your time of need that can make or break you . It is how you stand up after you fall that makes you stronger. It is how you smile after the tears that makes you the person you are today. You are a very strong determined opinionated woman who can do anything her heart desires. Sometimes you have to push the clouds out of the way to see the sunshine. You have weathered through many situations. I know that you can accomplish anything in reason and I am blessed to have you in my life. You were put here on this earth to be a mother a sister a daughter and an inspiring human being and by the grace of God you are doing a good job. I know I have had my share of obstacles and illness and I too wanted to give up. However I had two boys to raise and a husband to support so I had to find inner peace. My husband and children helped me as much as knew how so I am blessed. I felt as though my other family didn’t help me in my time of struggles. When I was in the hospital only a few visited. It took me awhile to really realize sometimes a conversation can be help a smile or encouraging words are also helpful a visit is also uplifting. I had to start appreciating the smaller things. I stopped expecting certain things to be handled the way I would do them and started to allow them to help me in the way their heart desired. Yes sometimes I have to admit their hearts didn’t desire to help me at all and yes it hurts but I realized it is what it is. I also have to remember I may have hurt others in the past and they haven’t gotten over it so their heart is hardened so I have to accept that even though it doesn’t bring me joy. Sometimes I get caught up in material things but overall I find joy from within and try to spread it every where I go

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