Reassess Your Assets, Woman

Reassess Your Assets, Woman!


      The woman is shouting, “I am independent!”  The man hears, “You don’t need me.”

      Skylar, a beautiful 28- year old, says, “The odds are stacked against the independent woman.”

     Gorgeous 26-year-old Taylor explains, “Today’s modern women have new expectations placed on them in today’s society; to handle it all. We make our own money now, buy our own houses, and have demanding careers and pretty much go after whatever we want. 

      Young women no longer wait for a man to get those things for them (as has been the fact for decades past). Therefore, with all this newfound famine independence also comes a new expectation: to be the enterprising people when it comes to men and relationships. It’s a vicious cycle that men no longer feel the need to “step up” so to speak, because really, they don’t have to any more.

     There doesn’t seem to be that much driving men, since women are now taking the driver’s seat more and more and are in charge.  So where does that leave the women who are independent and don’t NEED a man, but definitely want one and one who is a gentleman and knows how to treat a lady?  They are out there but they are definitely a dying breed.

     Both Skylark and Taylor are unmarried and unattached – a common occurrence among today’s progressive, modern young independent women.  She provides for herself.  She frowns at domestic expectations and flaunts her financial assets.  She has the professional job that allows her to acquire “the things”: the car, the house, the fine clothes, the vacations, and on and on.

     She works side by side with men heading up corporations and creating change for our society.  They work well together and achieve fundamental results. Afterwards, she goes home to a beautiful yet empty house. 

     The roles are changing. Clearly, the independent woman does want a man, but her attitudes and expectations for him continue to change. Although she says she understands that men innately need to be the leader, provider and rescuer in the relationship, she struggles with this because she provides and makes her own decisions.  However, her needs and wants for the man are great.  She wants a man to be her partner, protector, lover, nurturer, and to share his life’s dreams and aspirations with her.

     The woman does not need the man to be her provider, yet his deepest desire is for his woman to appreciate his accomplishments, and value his worth. The biggest accomplishment for a man is to know that he is taking care of his family. 

    However, the true independent woman is not intimidated, nor does she literally live her life by Webster’s definition of independence:  “refusing to be under obligation to anyone, not relying on others for aid or support.”  Instead, she separates her title into two distinct roles.  She too desires “things,” and she understands that her material desires are met through finances.  Yes, she sets out to obtain the financial resources she will need to live her desired lifestyle.  She achieves higher education and economic success, allowing her to freely reveal her role as independent, showing her worth in the workplace.  She works alongside the man, and grosses equal or higher pay.  She too can now buy her needs and comforts. 

     Yes, another one of her goals as a true independent woman is to be joined with an independent man, to evolve together and become an interdependent couple.  So, how does a woman let a man know she is truly an independent woman without yelling, “I am woman, hear me roar”? 

Step One:

     She understands that her thoughts, actions and desires must be congruent.  Therefore, she does not allow society to dictate to her about her quest for independence and a relationship.  She does not attach herself to those messages that tell her that a successful woman will never get a quality man.  She removes her eyes from the words in print and removes her ears from the conversations and any negative words from her lips that might undermine her goals.  She removes any toxic thoughts from her mind and any detrimental actions from her behavior.

Step Two: 

     Her gears shift as she begins her quest for harmonious and happy relationships.  The truly independent woman leaves the office, the work as well as the workplace attitude.  She now focuses on her role as Woman!  She is in touch with her feminine side, and is comfortable expressing it.  Her confidence allows her to be vulnerable, leaving her open and available to balance her profession with a relationship with an independent man.  Furthermore, she is not in competition with her man on any level.  The truly independent woman shifts gears, and utilizes the workable old-fashioned values coupled with the modern progressive values to bring balance to the relationship, so that her partner’s and her own needs are met.

Step Three:

     The true independent woman reassesses her assets.  She isn’t in the panic mode at thirty because she hasn’t found her “quality” man.  Instead, she goes about life confidently knowing that her quality man will recognize her, and request her presence in a healthy, interdependent relationship.


4 thoughts on “Reassess Your Assets, Woman

  1. That sums it up perfectly! I would like to hear some guys opinions on this topic- do they feel inferior? I know that in past relationships, men couldn’t handle my independence and started showing signs of depression and worthlessness. They wanted to provide for me, but didn’t know how to “step up to the plate” as u stated in your article. I would gladly of liked them to take the “don’t worry, honey, I got this” approach more often. At that point, I would be very happy and know I wouldn’t HAVE to work so hard. . ..

    • Wendy,

      When you figure out, how we can get the men to take that “don’t worry honey approach” please share it with men. I wish I understood men. Keep the faith.

      Wendy are you a writer?

      Until next time, Diane

  2. nice blog! interesting post. I’ve always been independent… but now being married to my bff I absolutely am proud and confident to admit a healthy dependence has grown between us. That is something to discuss – healthy and unhealthy dependence. I think you can be healthily dependent and still retain independence… thoughts?

    thanks for stopping by ( a few weeks back – life has been hectic in the homebuying world… but I do appreciate the well wishes. Slated to close on Wednesday! 🙂

    • you two are so cute. Kudos on your new home…i saw the living room and it’s appears to be quite quint. i don’t think you need to do anything else to it, as i’m a “simply elegant” girl.

      i am so happy for you two. thanks for reading my blog and i will consider writing that article on healthy dependence.

      may you two continue too love and enjoy each other.


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